Dear Reader,
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| Image courtesy of Out of the Box! |
A few nights ago, I had an incredibly vivid dream. While thinking about this in the morning, I realized that it brought to light an aspect of my personality that I hadn't really thought about. I'm actually a very decisive and certain person. I have a lot of faith in my instincts and Allah (swt). Normally when I make a decision I stick to it and see it through to the end and rarely change my mind.
Generally this is seen as a good point but, unfortunately this also means that the reverse is also true. Meaning: that I hate uncertainty and doubt, especially within myself. I know, I know, 'hate' is a very strong words, but honestly that is exactly what it feels like. Now I'm not one of those people who has a low self-esteem, so I obviously don't like berating myself and I especially am no advocator of hate. And so it came as a great surprise to me that I hate not knowing the next step that I'm going to take, that I hate not knowing how to behave in a certain situation. Yet more than any of that I hate this feeling of 'hating' myself. I hope, dear reader, that you can see this confused and viscous loop that's forming in my mind.
But, on a marginally brighter note, I also realised that I like to have everything planned well ahead of time, (see I used the word 'like' in this sentence rather than hate, hehehe). Of course I don't mind if things don't always go according to plan, but I like to know generally in which direction I'm heading before I step out. And plans, more often than not do change. Because change is such an essential part of life and we cannot begrudge it for being so. Change is good and therefore I whole support the protesters in Egypt. It's time for change ... But I think this post is becoming too political for this blog. I prefer to keep things light here. :-D
On an entirely different note, I wanted let you know that I'm going on a semi-blog-break. Having scheduled out the month of February, and as it is my final year of university (I'm not going to cry!), I've realised that I have quite a momentous tower of things on my academic plate. And so I'm only going to blog this month if I desperately need to inform you, dear reader, of something astronomical. But please, do not be alarmed. this is not permanent and I will be back to my regularly blogging-patterns as soon as I'm able.
Until next time, whenever that may be,
Nida
