what Next?

Dear Reader,

So now that I have relatively more time on my hands, I've been doing a lot of thinking. And, of course, this has lead me to the question "what next?" I'm a bit of an obsessive planner, so it goes without saying that I pretty much have my life divided in short term and long term plans. 

The long term plans are all the usually, typical, boring stuff: get training, get a job, find a literary agent, get married, move to different country, go on hajj, so on and so forth. However, it's the short term plans that are much more interesting: what I plan to do with the time I have between now and when I start training.     

Well firstly, as you can probably tell by my previous post, that I plan to  do a lot more sketching and painting. I'm also working on the first novel from my fantasy series, Book 1: The Legend of Sharon, which I hope to complete by the end of this year Inshallah. But, unfortunately, I've been having some difficulty writing Chapter 5, which is turning a lot longer than I had originally planned. I've already split the main events over two chapters, and splitting it further would only make the plot drag. Oh well, I'll finish the Chapter as it is, then come back to it after the whole thing is finished and change as needed.      

I also plan to spend a lot more time with my mum, get in on some of that precious mother-daughter bonding time that I'd been missing so much, which isn't all that surprising as my wonderful mummy is also one of my best friends. We plan to experiment with all sorts of new desserts and she wants to teach me to make some traditional foods like gol-gappay. It's a bit cold now to do much gardening, but we still have some cherry tomatoes ripening in our vegetable bed, so they also require some looking after. And me and mum have been doing a lot of catching up on Pakistani and British TV dramas that we watch together, especially since I had to put all that on hold as I completed my thesis. It's really fortunate that the new series of Downton Abbey just started, which gives me something to look forward to every Sunday.          

But what I want to do most now, is simply just READ. The last fictional book I read was Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury, and that was back in July. I've missed reading, so I'm really looking forward to having time to just sit back and read for the pleasure of it. I have quite an extensive list that I want to get through by the end of this year, but I'll only give you, dear reader, some of my most anticipated titles from the list:

1. The Anthologist by Nicholson Baker
2. Raven Boys by Maggie Stiefvater
3. The Mark of Athena by Rick Roirdan
4. Sapphire Blue by Kristen Geir
5. The Named by Marianne Curley
6. The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern

I was going to write a review about Fahrenheit 451, but I think that this video (part 1) and this one (part 2 and 3) do a much better job of explaining and exploring the book that I could ever do.

Nida

a Goal celebration!

Dear Reader,

The day before yesterday was my graduation/convocation ceremony. It was overwhelming and inspiring.  

The day began quite early, 6am in fact, since we had to get to the Hall by 8:30am and it was about an hours drive from my house. But being Pakistani, we had to be late, and so we got there at just after 9am. As soon as I arrived however, I had no chance to say hello to my friends but was hurried off to the robing room to don my (incredibly expensive) academic dress. Part of me felt like a puffed up black pillow, while the other half felt like a Hogwarts-runway. Well, that was until I put on my mortarboard cap and looked in the mirror. It was then that it truly hit me that my undergraduate degree was actually over. I turned to my mother and saw that she had tears in her eyes. She was crying, silent tears of joy and pride. I just want to take this moment to say: I love you Mum.  

The Ceremony itself was quite interesting. Our principal spoke for about 15 mins, covering a range of topics from the increased tuition fees and the current state of the NHS, to the St. George's pride and wishing the graduates/alumni best of luck in the future. One of the things he said really stuck with me. He told us to remember the 4P's in the rest of our lives: to be Professional and Patient, to act without Prejudice, and always remember to Persevere. 

Then the awards and degrees presentation began. Me and my university friends clapped and whooped extra loud whenever one of us went up on stage. I think the loudest whoop was for the very sociable and lovable Arab friend of mine, whom I shall not name here. I'm told that there was a lot of whooping and clapping for me too but all I remember is that after hearing my name being called, I stepped on the stage in utter silence, my entire concentration focused on walking straight ahead without tripping up. Sound only returned to me when I was off the stage and heading back to me seat, but by then the clapping was for the next person in line. Having never been in this sort of a situation before, I suppose that was what stage-fright felt.  

The three hours after the ceremony ended, were spent in a hectic struggle to find my friends and take a million photographs with them. There are pictures of us in the hall, in the waiting area, with our families, with each other's families, in the queues, and of us friends flinging our hats, even one of my friend's mother looking quite lost. Thanks to Allah's mercy, the weather was bright and sunny and absolutely wonderful, to fit our moods. And so there are a myriad of pictures of us in the sun, on the stairs, by the ponds, in the ponds ... you get the picture.  

And in the end, as I walked through the car park doors, with my aching high-heeled-feet, it was not a sense of loss or ending that filled me, nor was it excitement, anticipation or anxiety. It was contentment and satisfaction at a job well done. You see, for so long my life had been geared towards this one goal: graduation. Since about half-way through secondary school everything I did, academically and extracurricularly, were for the purpose of getting into a good university, which Alhumdulillah I did. Once at university, everything was done into order to get great grades. These past years have been an emotional roller-coaster, requiring a 110% effort to just keep on top of things. And Alhumdulillah, thank God, I had a brilliant network of friends and family for support, who picked me up whenever I fell down, who kept on reminding me to not give up hope, that I could do it, that my goal was achievable. 

And now I have the grades, Alhumdulillah. For me, this ceremony was a celebration of achieving the goal that my life had been centred on for too many years to count. And not just my goal, but the goals of all the BSc, MBBS, MSc and PhD students at my university. It was a celebration of our efforts, hard work and perseverance, of everything we learnt (academically and personally) and of the life-long friendships we formed.         

I've heard some say that they felt a certain anguish, or a sense of confusion or doubt as to where they should head to next. But luckily that has not been the case with me. Being the obsessively organised person that I am, I always have a plan in place, several plans in fact, in case one should fail. I know that life has it's unexpected turns and twists, but I've found a way to adapt and mould my plans to whatever Allah (swt) wishes to throw in my path. And now I wait to begin to walk on my next plan, with my next goal ahead and insight. 

Wishing you, dear Reader, all the best with your own goals, 

Nida

P.S. - Sorry if the title of this post misled you as it has nothing to do with football :-P